Are you here for now or are you here to stay?
This one question can save you time, hard times and heart aches. Anyone who has any knowledge of relationships and succeeding in them would be the first to tell you that communication is key. Two people who can effectively communicate can make it through the majority of relationships issues. The problem arise when the clear line of commination begins to become cluttered. A friendship, romantic relationship or even a business relationship must maintain an uncluttered line of communication. That way , expectations are clear and the parameters of the relationship are defined.
Most if not all of America tuned in to the Season premiere of the hit ABC show “Scandal”. I must admit, I was late to join the gladiators but I am now a full fledge “Gladiator”. A quick recap of the show: Olivia Pope played by Kerry Washington has moved away to a deserted yet beautiful island to get away from the hustle and bustle of her life as she knew it living in the nation’s capital. While doing so her team has since disbanded and all went their separate ways. Upon receiving news that “supposedly” one of her friends and former employees have died she decides to come out of hiding to plan a proper funeral for him. Its getting juicy isn’t it? I know!
Upon returning to the nations capital Olivia Pope tries to assemble her team to work together on planning the funeral. She approaches another of her team members who goes by the name “Huck”, who is known for being straight forward and forth right. She begins to start a conversation and Huck asks her something that cuts right to the chase and clearly would define the rest of the conversation. He asks. “Are you here to stay or are you here for now”?
How many times in our lives have we put incorrect expectations on our relationships? Imagine how much differently that friendship split may have went if there were some tough conversations that we would have had from the beginning. Any type of relationship that will stand the test of time will have to be rooted in clear lines and defined parameters.
Knowing whether the people you allow in your life plan to stay for now or good, will save you heart ache and pain and will allow you to decides from the beginning if this is something that is worth your time and effort.
So what I’m saying is…….
Be clear, be straight forward, announce your expectations of a friendship or relationship. Am I saying that there wont be instances where people will try to lead you to believe one thing and then do another? No. There is a chance that people will deceive you, but more often than not you will vet out all of the people with ill intentions by asking a tough question. Are you here to stay in my life, or are you just here for now?