This is Probably the most important question you can ask in any relationship.

Huck and Olivia Pope

Are you here for now or are you here to stay?

This one question can save you time, hard times and heart aches. Anyone who has any knowledge of relationships and succeeding in them would be the first to tell you that communication is key. Two people who can effectively communicate can make it through the majority of relationships issues.  The problem arise when the clear line of commination begins to become cluttered. A friendship, romantic relationship or even a business relationship must maintain an uncluttered line of communication. That way , expectations are clear and the parameters of the relationship are defined.

Most if not all of America tuned in to the Season premiere of the hit ABC show “Scandal”. I must admit, I was late to join the gladiators but I am now a full fledge “Gladiator”.  A quick  recap of the show: Olivia Pope played by Kerry Washington has moved away to a deserted yet beautiful island to get away from the hustle and bustle of her life as she knew it living in the nation’s capital. While doing so her team has since disbanded and all went their separate ways. Upon receiving news that “supposedly” one of her friends and former employees have died she decides to come out of hiding to plan a proper funeral for him. Its getting juicy isn’t it? I know!

Upon returning to the nations capital Olivia Pope tries to assemble her team to work together on planning the funeral. She approaches another of her team members who goes by the name “Huck”, who is known for being straight forward and forth right. She begins to start a conversation and Huck asks her something that cuts right to the chase and clearly would  define the rest of the conversation. He asks. “Are you here to stay or are you here for now”?

How many times in our lives have we put incorrect expectations on our relationships? Imagine how much differently that friendship split may have went if there were some tough conversations that we would have had from the beginning. Any type of relationship that will stand the test of time will have to be rooted in clear lines and defined parameters.

Knowing whether the people you allow in your life plan to stay for now or good, will save you heart ache and pain and will allow you to decides from the beginning if this is something that is worth your time and effort.

So what I’m saying is…….

Be clear, be straight forward, announce your expectations of a friendship or relationship. Am I saying that there wont be instances where people will try to lead you to believe one thing and then do another? No. There is a chance that people will deceive you, but more often than not you will vet out all of the people with ill intentions  by asking a tough question. Are you here to stay in my life, or are you just here for now?

While you’re sitting there, the clock is ticking.

There’s a brutal battle going on. A battle that’s being fought every single day of our lives. A battle that if we are not careful we won’t recognize that we are actually losing. This is the battle for our time. Our time equates to our productivity, and our productivity equates to our impact and effectiveness. You need time to hone your idea, your gift or your product. There are a few things that if we aren’t careful will cause us lose the battle with time and ultimately the war of impact and effectiveness. These things, if consumed at too high a level can be devastating.

Social Media

In this 21^st century probably one the biggest distractions to our lives is social media. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the opportunities that these various outlets present us with. The idea that we can connect with an old high school friend that we have lost track with is priceless. The fact that we can promote different business ventures and invite others to attend is awesome. However with this “blessing” of social media there is also I dark side and that’s the mismanagement of social media. The same outlet that can be a blessing can also be curse if mismanaged. Think about it, How much time do you spend watch a random video of someone who obviously knows that they have no music ability, stand there and belt out their best Whitney Houston note, off key and out of tune. How many times have you logged in only to find yourself watching something completely pointless. Before you know it, you’ve spent between 10-20 minutes per day watching and engaging in something that holds absolutely no value in helping propel you into building your brand, bank account or body (promoting healthy living). Just 10 minutes a day adds up to nearly an hour for a normal work week. What else could you be doing with an extra hour of positive production?

Television

There’s a link between high television consumption and poverty.

There’s an old saying that goes “Do you know why Rolls Royce and Bentley’s don’t have commercials? Its because the people who can afford them don’t watch T.V”. That has never been truer. The time that is spent catching up on your favorite episode of__________ you fill in the blank could be time that you can be spent polishing or even perfecting your product or even yourself. Too often we flop down in front of the T.V not to watch a training dealing with advancing ourselves in some way, shape or form. We often would much rather engage in an hour of “not so Reality T.V”. Spending hours a week feeding our eyes, ears and minds things that are totally contrary to where we all want to be is counterproductive at best. There is a place for entertainment in life however there is a link between high television consumption and poverty. Beware of what you watch.

Dead end relationships

I like to say that your “Network can determine your Net worth”. Who you are connected to speaks volumes about where you ae going in life. Your surroundings will either push you to greatness or pull you further from greatness. We all can attest to the possibility of you getting in trouble increases greatly when engaged in a relationship with a person or people who have no good intentions. My suggestion is simple. Evaluate and communicate. Evaluate your friendships and decide whether this is a mutually beneficial relationship in which you both are enjoying the friendship at the same time pushing each other to greater. Lastly communicate, if you decide that this relationship is draining out of you the energy that’s needed to be applied in the area of your purpose, destiny or professional career.

So what I’m saying is…

Imagine if we saw someone with a match and gasoline. In front of him is a pile of $100 bills and he is taking each bill lighting them one by one watching them go up in flames. We would be livid! We would say, “ how could this man stand there and burn up all of that money. Doesn’t he know how hard it is to make that much money. Well friends that is exactly what im saying to you. Don’t sit there and slowly burn up the time you have engaged in pointless things. Make the moments matter. Unlike money you dont get an opportunity to “earn more” each week. Time is our most precious commodity, stop wasting it. You’ve got lives to change!